Who are we to judge?

"Don’t be judgmental. See people in a better light and like them for what they are. Because no matter what your perception is…someone somewhere surely sees them as a ‘masterpiece’ of all of God’s creations!"

This is something I’d written a while ago and since it was my gtalk status message for the longest time, a lot of people took the liberty to copy and post it as their statuses or their FB walls. Nevertheless, that’s when I realized that people do resonate with this thought and I think I should delve into a deeper thinking about it.

How often do we find ourselves being judged or judging others? I guess the occurrence of this phenomenon is very frequent and moreover at a subconscious level. You meet people and you start judging them – the way they are dressed, the way they speak, the way they behave, how smart or dumb they are, how well they live up to your preconceived notions, are they worthy of knowing and spending your precious time with or just letting go of? And I have seen this happening not just in professional lives but at a higher rate in personal relationships and acquaintances. Every time I find myself in this situation, I ask myself “who am I to pass judgments about this person I hardly even know?” It takes us a lifetime to understand people, even those whom we’ve been with and known for years. Then how can we judge people whom we’ve barely spent any time with or those whom we don’t have the patience to understand better? There are so many instances when we find ourselves judging our parents, our siblings, our closest friends and our better-halves. Why do we have to make them the victims of our judgment? Aren’t these the people who love you unconditionally? The one’s who know you inside-out? The one’s who’d be there for you during the sunny days and the darkest nights? The one’s whom we call our support system, those we depend upon, those we trust and care about? If they mean so much to us, then what gives us the right or for that matter even a thought of judging them!

Life’s pretty simple and relationships can be equally simpler if we try and see people in a better light. I do believe that people are complex beings, some not so very amiable and some that make you smile by just being themselves. But at the end, it’s how you see them, at what pedestal you put them, with what value you tag them and the amount of power you give them to influence you. I had read a quote somewhere which said, “We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are!” Doesn’t it make sense? When we begin seeing people differently, appreciate their positive sides and ignore the negative…we not only help them by being fair but help ourselves become better human beings. It’s as simple as that.

For the past few months now, I’ve been at the centre stage of this process I refer to as “the arranged marriage circus”. And I don’t call it a circus because it’s a hilarious thing to be a part of but I call it by that name so that I can laugh about it a little and get over the emotional trauma thprocess leads to or the punch that it gives to your self esteem and self respect time and again. I have been told that one must be practical about this whole thing because after all it’s an arrangement between two people…two families. I’ve been trying to be as practical as I can be but deep down I am an emotional fool and what I fail to understand is that how “marriage” – the most important resolution of one’s life, the deepest emotional risk….can be a well-thought practical decision rather than a deeper heartfelt commitment?

I had made it very clear to my parents from day 1 that I won’t judge a guy I meet by his first impression. It’s just not fair to him or me. How can one conclude whether a person is ‘eligible’ to be your life partner after speaking random things with him/her for an hour or two over a cup of coffee? This is not a job interview wherein the job description or the aptitude needs to fit a set of pre-decided company requirements. Isn’t it supposed to be a process of understanding people beyond their face value, knowing them better than just a few words they rambled when you first met, finding a common ground of things that make each other happy or sad and finally isn’t it all about letting your heart feel rather than letting your mind decide? Fortunately or unfortunately, it’s only me who’s been thinking so much and analyzing things while other’s don’t really know what the hell they are up to.

Well we’ll just have to wait and watch for what’s in store and how life’s going to unfold for me. But I’d like to leave you’ll with a thought to ponder upon…"Who are we to judge someone when each one of us is God’s masterpiece?” The next time you find yourself turning on the ‘Judgment’ button – STOP! Give it a moment and THINK! :)